It’s been a while since I have tickled the ivories of the keyboard but stay with me. Its been a crazy couple of days. Since the internet and my mind aren’t traveling at the same pace I’ve listed some highlights below.
1. My flight was awesome. Got a whole row to myself and stretched out for 16 hours. Landing in Taipei I realized not only had they begun construction since last time Matthew and I blew in but EVERY SIGN was in Chinese. That is honestly awesome, if you speak Chinese. I managed to find my gate after walking two miles without seeing a single soul. I then text Amanda who said if the children start coming out to look for an exit. I landed in KL (MY MOTHER WAS ON TIME!) and it was a beautiful 90 degrees.
2. I went through customs behind the passengers of Air Kuwait who not only were all wearing burkas but kept complimenting my purse thus proving that even in the middle east, I can hang.
3. The Malay people (Chinese, Indian, Sri Lankan and the native Malays) have all been very excited about the election of Obama. Between strangers saying GO OBAMA or YES WE DID and the endless stores selling VIVA USA shirts - it is honestly refreshing and heartwarming to see that my country is slowing turning around.
4. On that note, as Malayasia is a Muslim country the national mosque has a huge Anti-American banner (about five stories hight) asking to boycott American products such as Coca Cola, Subway, KFC, McDonalds and all American clothing lines in light of the Gaza. Not only is the sign bigger than you can imagine it is right next to a an even bigger picture (about 10 stories) of a dead little girl in ruble. Words cannot even describe and I will not disgrace this poor child any further. So in a country that is overwhelmingly happy for our nation there is still obvious discord and anger.
5. Mom and I have been eating the best food ever. Suck it!
6. The Nepalese soilders that guard my mothers place salute us British style every time we come and go. It has become not only ironic but very uncomfortable as mom and I keep thinking of Benny Hill.
7. For the first time in my life (WAIT FOR IT!) I was able to purchase jeans from a store without getting them in petite or having to have them altered. I am considered average height here.
8. On that note, my feet are appearantly bigger than Shaq’s (for the record I wear a 7 or a 7 1/2) and when I tell people my size they look at me as if I have scurvy. Then laugh. Then walk away. Its a beautiful dance I must say.
9. I’ve had a bunch of people take photos with me. I AM HUGE in KL and world domination is at hand.
10. More people have asked me about Chris Brown and Rhianna then my opinions on Gaza. They also like to sing me lyrics just so I know who they are talking about. Nothing better than a group of Malays singing S.O.S or Disturbia.
Love and miss you all. Truly.
EDITORS NOTE: Sorry if there are typos and it is horrible. Writing on a very weird keyboard and trying to get it online with an internet slower than Time Warner.
(via rebeccalbrown)
A typical conversation between cabs and myself.
Fahey has the coolest friends. But not as cool as the Swayze’s.
A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance
And, maybe, theyd be happy for a while.
But february made me shiver
With every paper Id deliver.
Bad news on the doorstep;
I couldnt take one more step.
I cant remember if I cried
When I read about his widowed bride,
But something touched me deep inside
The day the music died.
So bye-bye, miss american pie.
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
And them good old boys were drinkin whiskey and rye
Singin, thisll be the day that I die.
Thisll be the day that I die.
Did you write the book of love,
And do you have faith in God above,
If the Bible tells you so?
Do you believe in rock n roll,
Can music save your mortal soul,
And can you teach me how to dance real slow?
Well, I know that youre in love with him
`cause I saw you dancin in the gym.
You both kicked off your shoes.
Man, I dig those rhythm and blues.
I was a lonely teenage broncin buck
With a pink carnation and a pickup truck,
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the music died.
Now for ten years weve been on our own
And moss grows fat on a rollin stone,
But thats not how it used to be.
When the jester sang for the king and queen,
In a coat he borrowed from james dean
And a voice that came from you and me,
Oh, and while the king was looking down,
The jester stole his thorny crown.
The courtroom was adjourned;
No verdict was returned.
And while lennon read a book of marx,
The quartet practiced in the park,
And we sang dirges in the dark
The day the music died.
Helter skelter in a summer swelter.
The birds flew off with a fallout shelter,
Eight miles high and falling fast.
It landed foul on the grass.
The players tried for a forward pass,
With the jester on the sidelines in a cast.
Now the half-time air was sweet perfume
While the sergeants played a marching tune.
We all got up to dance,
Oh, but we never got the chance!
`cause the players tried to take the field;
The marching band refused to yield.
Do you recall what was revealed
The day the music died?
Oh, and there we were all in one place,
A generation lost in space
With no time left to start again.
So come on: jack be nimble, jack be quick!
Jack flash sat on a candlestick
Cause fire is the devils only friend.
Oh, and as I watched him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage.
No angel born in hell
Could break that satans spell.
And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite,
I saw satan laughing with delight
The day the music died
I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news,
But she just smiled and turned away.
I went down to the sacred store
Where Id heard the music years before,
But the man there said the music wouldnt play.
And in the streets: the children screamed,
The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed.
But not a word was spoken;
The church bells all were broken.
And the three men I admire most:
The father, son, and the holy ghost,
They caught the last train for the coast
The day the music died.
And they were singing,
Bye-bye, miss american pie.
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
And them good old boys were drinkin whiskey and rye
Singin, thisll be the day that I die.
Thisll be the day that I die.
Since only my friends, family and people my friends and family pay read this blog, it is no secret that I am addicted to Maury Povich paternity shows. It isn’t as bad as my Duggar addiction, but it could be labeled hazardous to my health.
Since the shows come on twice daily in LA, I am able to tape these segments of glory and watch them back to back. It is sad and good to be me. Where am I going with this?
On today’s show a young lady took a paternity and lie detector test (OH! DOUBLE WHAMMY!) to not only prove that Darion fathered her son but that she “had sex with him without a condom.” When the results proved to Darion and his wife that yes, Chandra had indeed had sex with this man she barely knew without a condom and bore a child all she kept saying was “I told you I wasn’t lying. I got your man to have sex with me without protection!” To which his lovely wife kept saying “SO!SO!I have sex with him without a condom everynight!”
I don’t need to state the obvious. I don’t need to mention how pathetic these women (and I use this term loosely) are acting or how disgusting these men act. YEAH, unprotected sex! WHOO-HOO bringing children into the world without stability, love and/or a caring family. High-five that my husband cheats on me and I could potentially get a life-threatening disease. Sometimes I watch the show and make wonderful arguments on forced sterilization.
Which leads me to the hard question: Who is more despicable? These leeches on society or me for watching?
Gotta go. Michelle is about to find out if Casey is the father of her triplets.
Let’s file this under “who the hell cares?”
Me: Are you and KK working together later?
Matthew: Yep.
I go back to my book, Matthew goes back to computer. A minute later.
Matthew: Did she used to be a gospel singer?
Me: KAREN?! Why would you ask that?
Matthew: No, Amy Grant.
[video]
Alexander McQueen Spring 2009 LOVE slingbacks.
Come to me my precious. I will hold you and love you and never stumble drunk with you on my feet.